The Three Big Ideas:
- Show genuine interest in others by remembering their name, their story and dreams.
- Always serve and help others first rather than remain focused on yourself.
- Always encourage, compliment, help others and add value for others.
Reading Length: 9.5 minutes
Chapter 1: Increase Your Value
Who you are is the greatest asset. Ask yourself: how can I increase my value to benefit others?
- 1) You can’t be happy unless you are healthy.
- 2) You can’t give what you don’t have.
Chapter 2: Practice 30 Second Rule
Everyday before meeting someone, think of a good thing about them. Within 30 seconds, say something encouraging to people.
Chapter 3: Let People Know You Need Them
People want to feel needed and that they helped someone. Let them know “I can’t do it without you.” It is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. Ask yourself: who can help me?
Chapter 4: Create a Memory and Visit it Often
Bond people together with shared memory. Ask yourself: what memories do I need to create and relive again?
- 1) Make something happen.
- 2) Set aside time to make something happen.
- 3) Plan for something to happen.
- 4) Find a way to make something happen.
- 5) Show that something happened (ex: diaries and photographs).
- 6) Relive the memory (ex: sharing favorite memory).
Chapter 5: Compliment Other People in Front of Other People
This dramatically increases value when done in public. Everyone wants to feel important. You reinforce behavior when complimenting their qualities. Ask yourself: who can I spotlight others?
Chapter 6: Give Others a Reputation to Uphold
See the best quality of others and show them who they could be. People perform as you usually expect of them. Ask: what is special and unique about this person and how can I show to others?
- 1) Have high opinion of people.
- 2) Back up your high opinions with action.
- 3) Look past their past.
- 4) Give people new name or nickname that speaks to their potential (ex: nicknaming a slow person “rocket“).
Chapter 7: Say The Right Words at The Right Time
Sometimes best policy is to say nothing. Be sensitive to time and place. Paying attention to context. It is about how you say it. Ask yourself: what would I want to hear if I were in this person’s shoes?
Chapter 8: Encourage Dreams of Others
Never allow yourself to become a dream killer. Ask yourself: who can I encourage today in reaching their dreams?
- 1) Ask them to share dream.
- 2) Affirm the dream and recognize their qualities.
- 3) Ask about their challenges.
- 4) Offer your assistance.
- 5) Revisit them with their dream.
- 6) Determine to be a dream booster.
Chapter 9: Pass the Credit Onto Others
Ask yourself: who has made me more successful that I would have on my own?
- 1) Check your ego.
- 2) Don’t wait, pass the credit ASAP.
- 3) Say it in front of others.
- 4) Put it in print.
Chapter 10: Offer Your Very Best
Always try to exceed expectations. See everyone as important to offer best. Average is average only when we think so. Ask yourself: what can I do for someone who could never repay me?
Chapter 11: Share a Secret With Someone
Let them know you are revealing it for the first time. Jot down things you want to share. This makes them feel special. Ask yourself: whom can I benefit most by offering a secret?
- 1) Sharing a secret means giving valuable information to someone.
- 2) Sharing allows inclusion of people.
Chapter 12: Mind The Goal of Good Intentions
Ask yourself: how would I feel or do if I were in this person’s shoes?
- 1) Give people benefit of doubt.
- 2) See things from their perspective.
Chapter 13: Keep Your Eyes Off The Mirror
Success is not what you gain but what you do for others. Continual focus on self is draining while focusing on others is less draining. People feel more content when serving others.
Ask yourself: what can I do to forget myself and help others?
Chapter 14: Do For Others What They Cannot do For Themselves
Ask yourself: what opportunity, place, idea or experience could I provide for others?
- 1) Introduce other people.
- 2) Take other people to places.
- 3) Offer others opportunities.
- 4) Share ideas with others.
Chapter 15: Listen For Your Heart
Ask yourself: how can I better understand what this person is feeling?
- 1) Focus on the person not just the ideas.
- 2) Unclog your ears.
- Avoid: distractions, defensiveness, close mindedness, projection, assumptions, and pride.
- 3) Listen aggressively; not passively.
- 4) Listen to understand.
Chapter 16: Find The Keys to Their Hearts
Ask personal details about them beforehand, using their first name. Accept that people are different. This process doesn’t need to be completed in one sitting. Ask yourself: What are their personal values? What change indicators have I seen? Some questions to ask:
- What do you dream about?
- What do you cry about?
- What do you sing about?
- What are your values?
- What are your strengths?
- What is your temperament?
Chapter 17: Be The First to Help
Make helping others a priority. Make yourself aware of people’s needs. Be willing to take a risk. Ask: how can I help you?
Chapter 18: Add Value to People
You can’t do something kind for people when you don’t like them. It needs to be win-win situation. You must value yourself first too by acquiring knowledge and gain skill. Ask yourself: who adds value to my life and to whom I should add value?
Chapter 19: Remember a Person’s Story
Ask: what’s your story?
- 1) Ask for their story.
- Ask: “What’s your story? How did you get into the field?“
- 2) Listen.
- Look speaker in the eyes.
- Don’t interrupt them.
- Then try to summarize with “Let me see if I understand…”
- 3) Remember.
Chapter 20: Share a Story
Stories stick. Principles fade. Ask yourself: how can I make my point come through?
- 1) Share something you have experienced.
- 2) Tell it with a goal of connecting to listeners.
- 3) Put your heart into it.
- 4) Assume others want to hear it.
Chapter 21: Give With No Strings Attached
Ask yourself: whom can I help that will get me nothing in return?
- 1) Abundance mentality – be a maker not a taker.
- 2) See the big picture.
Chapter 22: Learn Your Mail Men’s Name
Remember a person’s name with SAVE METHOD. If your forgot their name, say: “I’m so sorry I remember you well, but I’m afraid your name has slipped my mind. Ask: what can you tell about people’s names?
- Save Method:
- Say name three times in conversation.
- Ask question about the name.
- Visualize person’s character.
- End conversation with name.
Chapter 23: Point Out People’s Strengths
The mistake is to focus on people’s weakness, not on strengths. Everyday tell someone their strength. Ask yourself: what does this individual do well?
- 1) Look for the best in others.
- 2) Tell them.
Chapter 24: Write Notes of Encouragement
Today is all about technology. Write a handwritten note. Ask yourself: what can I say that will be an encouragement now that will be in the future?
Chapter 25: Help People Win
People know when someone doesn’t believe in them. Don’t just make him win, HELP him win. Ask yourself: who would I like help to win?
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