Reading Length: 3 minutes
The Three Big Ideas:
- List and let go of your self-limiting beliefs.
- Identify and write down your intrinsic motivations (your WHY) and goals.
- Keep track and make progress towards goals in each important life category.
The Five Steps:
- Step 1: Believe The Possibility.
- Step 2: Getting Closure on The Past.
- Step 3: Design Your Future.
- Step 4: Find Your WHY.
- Step 5: Make it Happen.
Life is multifaceted which includes:
Step 1: Believe The Possibility
We experience what we expect. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. They shape our actions and outcomes. Turn “I can’t” to “How can I?” It’s scarcity thinking VS abundance thinking.
Types of Doubts
- Black and white thinking (considered failure if not perfect).
- Personalize (random mistake).
- Catastrophic (we make it worse).
- Universe it (we say it’s normal).
Take your limiting beliefs and say the opposite. Turn “I do not feel like doing that now” to “I have more than enough energy to take this task.”
When We Feel Powerless, Do These:
- 1) Set intention.
- 2) Visualize future.
- 3) Act on it.
- 4) Self reflection.
Six Step Process:
- 1) Recognize limiting belief.
- 2) Record the belief.
- 3) Review the belief – Ask: Is it enabling me or rejecting me?
- 4) Reject or reframe the belief.
- 5) Revise the information.
- 6) Reorient yourself or restate it.
Step 2: Getting Closure on The Past
- Stage 1: State what you want to happen – goals, hope, dream, and expectations.
- Stage 2: Acknowledge what actually happened.
- Stage 3: Learn from the experience.
- Stage 4: Adjust your behavior.
Focus on performance instead of yourself. For example, saying “I failed” rather than “I’m a failure” and “I screwed up” rather than “I am a screw up.”
Most common regrets among people were education, career, romance, self improvement, family and leisure. To prevent this, do these:
- 1) Take steps to goals.
- 2) Look at results.
- 3) Recall.
Pleasure Paradox is when we find something pleasurable and then ordinary after experiencing it. Follow the George Bailey Technique by imagining something good never happened.
- 1) Start end of day prayer.
- 2) Practice thankfulness.
- 3) Keep a gratitude journal.
Step 3: Design Your Future
SMART + MORE
- 1) Specific
- 2) Measurable
- 3) Action (use verbs, not adjectives)
- 4) Risky
- 5) Time
- 6) Exciting (find your WHY)
- 7) Relevant (set 7-10 values goals and for every life category)
We equate comfort with happiness. But comfort is boredom and a catalyst for growth. Discomfort zone is where fulfillment and results happen. Delusion zone is when people stack too many things which are not relevant to their life.
- 1) Have a start date.
- 2) Habit frequency.
- 3) Time trigger.
- 4) Streak the target.
Step 4: Find Your WHY
We’re conditioned to want results NOW. Have an intrinsic motivation and connect with it. External motivations are not as long lasting.
Record your motivations and rank the top 3. Once you see the results, you become more motivated and get the identity. The belief that it takes 21-30 days for a new habit to set in is a myth. Complex habits take longer which is about 66 days. Engage in chains-in games (ex: checklist or journal). Gamify the activity and measure the game in real time.
We need the energy of a community. Choose your circle wisely. Share your goal selectively (ex: creating a shared sheet on google docs). Ideas usually come from the product of conversations. The benefits of a community or partnership are learning, encouragement, accountability and competition.
- Online communities
- Running and exercise group
- Coaching and mentor circles
- Reading and study groups
- Accountability groups
- Close friendships
Step 5: Make it Happen
Do the easiest task first. Seek outside help as well.
- 1) Activation triggers (ex: shutting off computer)
- 2) Identify obstacles (ex: someone calling you as an interruption)
- 3) Experiment until you nail it!
Review your goals daily. Summarize goals which can be framed on wall and scan it each day. Do a weekly and quarterly review (every 3 months).
- 1) Rejoice – pause to celebrate small wins!
- 2) Recommit – let go of self limiting belief.
- 3) Revise.
- 4) Remove.